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A 

MODERN 

EXPERIENCE 


/ £ sfvJ* 

5T 


FANNY BECKWITH CLARK 


PRIVATELY PRINTED BY THE AUTHOR 
CLEVELAND 



con 3 & 


COPYRIGHTED, 1 897 


THE IMPERIAL PRESS, 
CLEVELAND, O. 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


I. 

CHANGED FORTUNES. 

£ £ pvELIGHTED to see you, Carl — but 
what a face ! Out with it, for if 
it is ‘ hard times ’ just laugh it off, because 
that is a trouble of the jolliest sort. Talk 
about misery loving company! It has 
enough company these days to hold balls 
and receptions every hour of the day. ’ ’ 

“ You can joke about it, Henry, but it 
is quite different with me. Imagine your- 
self a married man and losing everything 
excepting the love of the loveliest and the 
most devoted of women! You bachelors 
aren’t ‘ in it ’ with us. You don’t know 
what grief, loss of self-respect and cruel 
humiliation is, until you are forced to 
confess to the woman you love and have 


4 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


married and have pledged, 4 I thee endow 
with all my worldly possessions, ’ that yonr 
business has gone to the wall for lack of 
cool judgment and nerve as well as capi- 
tal. Oh, the pity of it ! I tell you, Henry, 
Alice will be brave and try to make the 
best of it, but at the same time she will 
have her private opinion of me as a man. 
Then, too, suppose she does not care to 
give up her servants and all our expensive 
pleasures. You know she has a magnifi- 
cent voice and never had an opportunity 
to cultivate it until I married her. She 
has lately been studying and enjoying it 
so much. I never have allowed her to 
sing in public, however, because I have 
always been so selfish and jealous.” 

“ I thought she had had advantages, 
Carl — she certainly has an excellent edu- 
cation. ’ ’ 

“ Yes, she has, through the kind gen- 
erosity of an uncle now dead, but no artist- 
ic education. She is only twenty-two, 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


5 


so there is still time for that. Oh, Henry, 
think of it! should I have to suggest 
denying her anything I would surely die 
of mortification. ’ ’ 

“ Look here, Carl, my boy, all I can say 
is that I am glad I am not ‘ in it ’ with 
you, but as you ask my advice, it is this, 
that you confess to her right away, and 
the sooner over the better. We might 
guess until doomsday and still not divine 
her decision, the proud, eccentric Alice, 
who is so droll and emotional and never 
two days the same. Oh no, my boy, I do 
not envy you ; but just ‘ brace up ’ and 
inform me in the morning as to what she 
herself proposes for you to do under these 
trying circumstances, for it will be rare, 
I am sure. By-the-by, Carl, how did 
you get into such a mess? I can’t under- 
stand it. ’ ’ 

“ I signed a friend’s note; made poor 
investments; then I mortgaged my home 
to save my business, and now all is gone, 


6 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


and beside all this, Henry, I dabbled in 
wheat, through the advice of men who 
had dealt in it so long and thought it a 
sure thing. This confession is the hard- 
est for me to make, as Alice hates and has 
always opposed speculation of that sort. 
However, I really feel that I could, within 
a year’s time, retrieve my fortune if I had 
an opportunity to go West, where I have 
mining interests ; although they never 
have been lucrative, they promise to be 
so before long. But I can’t leave my 
wife. She was, you remember, an or- 
phan; neither can I send her to my 
father’s, for she is too eccentric to live 
with them. Her notions would startle 
the old folks. Besides, I am too proud 
to tell them of my ill luck. Please, Henry, 
help me think and turn your thoughts 
into language, for I can’t see the slight- 
est ray of light through this great dilem- 
ma which I seem to be in. ’ ’ 

“ Language, Carl, some one says, ‘is 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


7 


arbitrary convention and only the emo- 
tional elements at the bottom are real. ’ 
So to help yon think and plan is what I 
shall try to do. How glad I would be 
if I were able to give yon some tangible 
help.” 

“ I appreciate yonr good-will, Henry, 
and good-bye until to-morrow. I will 
then inform you of Alice’s advice, for I 
think a woman’s intuition proves often- 
times a valuable guide. ’ ’ 


II. 


AT HOME. 

* ^ T am glad that )^ou came home early, 
1 Carl. I have been wishing for 
you. This day has been long and tire- 
some and you always rest me, dear. ’ ’ 

“ You don’t look tired, dearest, and it 
seems to me that you never were as 
pretty and attractive as you are to-night. 
You know that I love you and thank God 
that you are my very own. How blest a 
man is, and how thankful he should be, 
to really possess the woman he loves! 
Do you know, Alice, that many, many 
married couples either exist with heavy 
hearts or are perfectly indifferent to each 
other. And yet we talk about ‘ What God 
hath joined together, etc. ’ ! I think He 
has less to do with our marriage customs 
than do the laws of the land. ’ ’ 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


9 


“ Yes, Carl, I agree with you, and what 
misery it must be to realize that .one is 
tied for life to one whom you do not love ! 
Of course, this realization must come on 
by degrees, and slow stages, a life tort- 
ure. I always was in favor of capital 
punishment, for I am sure life imprison- 
ment can not be preferable. ’ 1 

“ No one can think this of us, Alice, 
for you alone occupy my heart and I am 
so sure of it, just as sure as that I live.” 

“ Carl, dear, what is it? Have you a 
confession? You are, to be sure, always 
kind and loving, but this is such sweet 
love-making, so tender and full of admi- 
ration, that I am suspicious that it is act- 
ing as a balm to a troubled heart or a 
verbal tonic to the confession which is to 
follow. ’ ’ 

“ Yes, Alice, I have a confession to 
make — ” 

“ Say there is no woman in it, or I’ll 
have a nervous chill. ’ ’ 


IO A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 

“No, no, my sweetheart, there is no 
other woman. You are, always have 
been, and will be forever, my only love. 
I have been very busy to-day and exceed- 
ingly worried, and by the way, Alice, if 
you were in the place of a woman whose 
husband had made great mistakes and 
finally he were to confess and ask for- 
giveness, what would you say?” 

“ In the first place, Carl, if I am to 
pretend to be some one else, let me feign 
to be both. If I were a man and asked 
forgiveness of the woman whom I loved 
I would not say, 4 Will you forgive me, 
my own darling, for I love you and will 
do better, ’ but I would say, as did Hester 
Prynne, 4 Thou shalt forgive me. Let 
God punish!’ Thou shalt forgive, for you 
know a man who really loves can stand 
the frown of the world and even of 
Heaven, but he cannot bear her frown 
and live. ’ ’ 


“ That sounds like my loyal Alice, but 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. II 

you have only told half. How about her 
reply?” 

“You know I am a little prejudiced in 
favor of my sex, therefore I may not be 
so broad as you might like. I would as- 
sure him of my love and sympathy and 
that I would forgive him anything, even 
before he confessed it, excepting — an af- 
fair with another woman.’’ 

“ Then I know I am forgiven, dear- 
heart, for losing every dollar I possessed. 
The note we signed had to be met, our 
mortgage paid and my investments have 
proven ” 

“ Don’t pain yourself with a detailed 
explanation, my Carl. I forgive it all, 
knowing that you acted as you supposed 
would prove to be best and right. This 
state of affairs is indeed terrible, but 
others, much older, have been obliged to 
begin again and we too must. We have 
our health and love to face it with, there- 
fore are better equipped and more fortu- 


I 2 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


nate than most people. What a pest 
money is! The love of it is not only ‘ the 
root of all evil, ’ but is the evil-one of life, 
for it is a great tempter, as it often 
leads one to do evil, since without it we 
cannot live. The loss of it deprives one 
of happiness, for money is the nucleus of 
a happy home. ’ ’ 

“ Yes, Alice, one’s whole life is de- 
voted to the striving after the almighty 
dollar. Everything depends upon it. 
If a man love his wife they are hap- 
py and contented so long as they have 
it. To love her and lose his money 
is misery of the worst kind, for the 
remorse causes his heart to ache and 
makes him covet wealth for her com- 
fort. If he does not love her and has 
means, they are at least comfortable, al- 
though unhappy, and he has the satisfac- 
tion of generously providing and keeping 
up appearances, even if they each go 
their own way. So you see all depends 
upon money. ” 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


13 


“ Argue it as we may, Carl, dear, 
something in our case must be done 
quickly and the best plan is for you to go 
West — ” 

“How can I go and leave you alone, 
dearest?” 

“ Don’t worry about that. I have a 
little money in the bank, enough to defray 
your expenses and to keep me until you 
can send me something. By the way, 
dear, let me consult the woman Jennie 
told us of, the one who claims to be a 
medium and has done such wonders. 
You know, I have been curious to inter- 
view her ever since she told Jennie where 
to find her lost ring and this is a good 
excuse for talking with her. ’ ’ 

“ It seems a foolish thing to do, Alice, 
but go if you like, for we may as well fol- 
low some one’s advice.” 

“ I shall do just as she advises, for 
things can’t be any worse.” 

“ Even to joining my people, Alice? I 


14 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


really think yon would make an exception 
of such advice. ’ ’ 

“Yes, I’ll even promise to do that, if 
she thinks it best — ’’ 

‘ ‘ If you are so ready to take her advice, 
we will both promise to follow her in- 
structions. ’ ’ 


III. 


ONE YEAR LATER. 


(( H, how tired I am! My head is 



fairly buzzing and this past year 


seems a century! Let me see! I took 
the fortune-teller’s advice, packed up my 
things and left Carl, 4 without the pangs 
of parting, ’ leaving him to seek our fort- 
une and / to earn my own living until he 
is successful, then he is to put into the 
press 4 Fortune found,’ and I am to go 
back to him, and until then he is not to 
know of my whereabouts. Why did I 
come to this big city where every one is 
so cold and unsympathetic? Men are so 
thoughtless! They should consider tem- 
peraments and judge accordingly. Any 
one can see that I am all 4 emotion! ’ My 
thoughts and imagination grow to enor- 
mous proportions and end in one over- 


16 A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 

powering emotion. Men should make al- 
lowances for such temperaments. I am 
treated as if I had always been in a Tele- 
phone Exchange, and it just occurs to me, 
how does any one knozv that I haven’t? 
People have so little forethought. If the 
manager would be kind enough to inter- 
view me in private, and not for example’s 
sake reprimand me before the others, it 
would be less humiliating. At the same 
time he assures me that with better judg- 
ment, which he is positive I can cultivate, 
I will soon make a good operator. Yet, 
it is for what I thought to be excellent 
judgment that he reprimands me. I 
can’t help listening to some of the mes- 
sages, as it is such a new thing. I only did 
the kind, and in my best discrimination, 
the right thing, when that man ’phoned 
his wife and scolded her for not meeting 
him down town at a certain time, — said 
he 4 waited two hours and had gone with- 
out his lunch. ’ I knew he was in a rage 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


17 


and would be more calm by night, so I 
just turned off her end of the ’phone, to 
save the wear and tear upon her nerves, 
as I knew by the tremor of her voice 
when she first answered him that she 
was not at all to blame, for a woman cer- 
tainly is not to blame for anything that 
she has entirely forgotten. I have often 
tried and found it utterly impossible to 
recall things that have passed from my 
mind. Of course the gentleman was fu- 
rious with me and wanted me discharged, 
but he will forgive me, I am sure, when 
he finds out that I was only trying to pre- 
vent a family quarrel, for that is quite in 
my line and is my especial care just now. 
The rule is for us to use judgment and 
when we think parties have talked a suffi- 
cient time, to turn off, and I was sure 
that he had. Subservience to formal 
rule is often a means but not always an 
end in itself. I wish men would ’phone 
their wives less often, any way, for it 


18 A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 

must be very distracting to both business- 
men and house-keepers! I am not envi- 
ous, but, Oh dear, I wish I could get even 
a scolding from my Carl over the ’phone 
— I guess I feel better now. I knew this 
terrible headache would bring tears. 
There goes that noise overhead again. I 
must investigate. Betty!” 

“ Can I do anything for you, Mrs. Carl? 

“ Yes, Betty, tell me what this noise is 
overhead? It is the same thing every 
night and some times nearly all night. I 
have terrible dreams in consequence and 
last night a regular night-mare,” 

“ Oh, that is only Mr. Bascom, a 
roomer. He has a great head for inven- 
tion. He has something about completed 
and I heard him say that he has to grasp 
the still hours of the night, as his brain 
needs 4 solitude.’ ” 

“ Even so, Betty, he doesn’t have to 
grasp the still hours with his legs and 
he never keeps them still. It’s tramp, 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


19 


tramp, tramp all night! You might sug- 
gest to him, Betty, that the solitude his 
brain needs would be more complete 
and everything in better harmony if he 
would govern his pedal extremities/’ 

“ Indeed I will, Mrs. Carl, and I’ll see 
him soon.” 

“ Poor man! How worried he is! It 
may be that his all depends upon the in- 
vention and possibly he has a wife and 
children and perhaps they have all run 
away from him ! That would be excuse 
enough for any man to tramp nights, — 
indeed I would be the last to criticise his 
passing out of the condition of a man al- 
together into a tramp personified. I 
simply can’t sleep with my brain and 
whole physical anatomy making a med- 
ley of themselves. The annoyance of this 
day upon my mind, love of Carl in 
my heart, and this tramp, tramp ever in 
my ears, is unbearable! Guess I’ll tap 
upon the gas-pipe and let him know that 


20 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


I am perturbed. What does the man 
mean, answering my taps in that way? 
Does he think that I am calling for help? 
Men haven’t the least intuition. Any 
woman would know at once just what I 
mean. ” 

“ Come in, Betty!” 

“ I was called to Mr. Bascom’s room, 
just now, and I told him all that I could 
remember of your message about har- 
mony and pedals and he said to tell the 
lady that he is neither a musician nor a 
composer, only a simple inventor, with 
the highest aim in life ; that he is sorry, 
indeed, to be of so much annoyance, but 
he is obliged to be up at night, and as he 
had already made up his mind that you 
were insane he had not pretended to give 
you any consideration. While working 
at his machine, he said every time the 
metal would rattle, you would call out 
4 number? ’ And carry on an animated 
conversation. Now that I have assured 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


21 


him that you are a perfectly sensible wom- 
an, he promises to be more careful and 
thoughtful. ” 

“ How terrible, Betty! I said nothing 
about his being a musician. I know I 
am extremely nervous and if I should ex- 
plain the complicated causes for it, he 
would be all the more certain that I am 
not in my right mind. You are positive 
that you convinced him that I am all 
right?” 

“ Yes, indeed, I did, Mrs. Carl. I think 
too much of you to let him think anything 
wrong, so I fixed it all right for you and 
told him that every one considers you 
odd. ” 

“ Well, Betty, I know you mean well, 
but even that is not very consoling. ’ ’ 

“ Oh, yes, Mrs. Carl, Mr. Bascom said 
that he thought that you had either never 
boarded before, or had done so so long 
that you had become a chronic kicker; 
then he said that he had decided that all 


22 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


elderly women, especially those who had! 
lived alone very long, were inclined that 
way. ’ ’ 

“ What reply did you make, Betty?” 

‘ ‘ I said nothing and came away. ’ ’ 

“ Very well, we will let him think that 
I am old. Good night, Betty. Now 
don’t say anything more about me.” 

“All right, Mrs. Carl, I won’t say a 
word. ’ ’ 

“ Good night! ” “ Good night! ” 

“ How humiliating to be all alone 
and considered old and insane! I would 
have been much happier to have gone 
upon the stage, and would have done so- 
had I not respected the prejudice Carl 
always had for such a life. I don’t hear 
a word of him. Surely he could not 
make a fortune in a year’s time, but 
suppose I should not hear and remain 
away and he should obtain a divorce on 
the grounds of desertion. Oh, horrors!” 


IV. 

OLD ACQUAINTANCES MEET. “A CONFI- 

DENTIAL TALK.” 

£ £ TSN’T it strange that I should meet 
1 you, Grace, in this great city, and 
how fortunate for me, as I need someone 
in whom I can confide.” 

“ I am glad to be of comfort to you, 
Alice, dear, and so glad that you con- 
sented to call upon me this evening. We 
have only lived in Chicago two years and 
I have often wondered concerning your 
whereabouts. One never forgets their 
childhood friends, they always seem dear. 
What a strange and disagreeable experi- 
ence you are having and I am so sorry ! 
I told Mr. Nelson of it and you have his 
sincere sympathy too. I am sorry that 
he is not here to meet you but he has 
gone out of town to attend the races. 


24 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


Horses are his especial delight and diver- 
sion. ” 

“ I regret not seeing him and I hope 
to meet him soon. I understand how 
taken up a man can be with 4 a hobby ’ 
and a man without one, Balzac says, ‘ has 
never grasped the possibilities of life/ 
It is strange, too, that you have never 
met Carl, although I think friends in a 
boarding-school seldom meet in their re- 
spective homes. ’ ’ 

“ How did you happen to drop your last 
name and call yourself Mrs. Carl, Alice?” 

“ Easy enough, Grace, for when I 
skipped to parts unknown it was neces- 
sary to change my name and I thought it 
would be a comfort to hear Carl’s name 
so often and indeed it has been the only 
sweetness my life has known this past 
year. ’ ’ 

“ By the way, Alice, what became of the 
man who was the means of Carl’s ruin, the 
person for whom Carl signed the note? ” 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


2 5 


“ He is ill, poor man, and so regrets 
our misfortune. He is helpless, too, to 
do anything, but his appreciation of Carl’s 
kindness is refreshing indeed. I do not 
regret signing the note.” 

“ How can you say that, Alice, when so 
much unhappiness has come to you 
through it?” 

“ Grace, dear, don’t you remember what 
Shakespeare says of friendship? ‘ The 
friends thou hast, and their adoption 
tried, grapple them to thy soul with 
hoops of steel. ’ I think it is even possi- 
ble to carry friendship on one side with- 
out the reciprocal feeling on the other. 
Be true to thyself and never betray a 
friend. The two men were such and 
he had been a great comfort to Carl 
in his college days, during many trials 
and through a long illness ; so when the 
time came to offer him assistance, Carl 
and I both were ready and willing to do 
so and I am not sorry. What are we 


26 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


here for if not to do a little good in the 
world? Because one himself suffers for 
others’ benefit, is the good itself less 
sweet? For my part, I would not injure 
one of my friend’s feelings for any 
amount of money, and as for friendships 
broken on account of financial trouble, 
those people are too shallow and infinites- 
imal to be considered. The heart of a 
true friend will endure trials and trials 
again for another. It has often seemed 
to me that some of these heart-strings 
lead to the conscience and bind us fast, 
and the more they are played upon the 
stronger and more fixed become their 
principles, past the comprehension of 
many, but so well understood by one’s 
true self. ’ ’ 

“You were always so analytical, Alice. 
I remember, even in school, you had the 
reputation of continually wanting to know 
the whys and wherefores and puzzling 
your head trying to define people’s mo- 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


27 


tives, and the consequence was that you 
were kept in deep thought. Your sad 
life when a girl, of course, had much to 
do with it, for you had less encourage- 
ment from home than any of the other 
girls and you seemed to feel the want of 
it, and that is one reason, dear, that we 
all petted you and tried to think of you 
first. ” 

“ I appreciated it all and tacitly under- 
stood the sweet thoughtfulness. Did you 
ever feel lonely, Grace, in the fullest 
sense of the word?” 

“ No, I don’t think I really have.” 

“/ was born so — now don’t smile — I 
was , dear, born lonely. Left an orphan 
and taken into my uncle’s family. I was 
given care, my wants were supplied, an 
education was added, — in fact, everything 
that a young lady needs, excepting the 
thing that she needs most — love. I do 
not hesitate to say that I had naturally 
fully as much brain as the rest of the 


28 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


family, yet never was I told that I had 
done anything well ; the others were en- 
couraged, but I, never. Unfortunately, I 
was born with a warm, sympathetic nat- 
ure, one capable of deep, true love, 
therefore capable of deep suffering. 
Why could I not have had a cold, stoic 
nature, which usually assures one of much 
more contentment? ” 

“We are as we are, Alice, dear. Those 
traits are inborn and we cannot change 
them. People who are cold and indiffer- 
ent are naturally so. It is true, too, in 
the vegetable kingdom, for you can 
cleanse a potato, cut away the bad parts, 
put it over the fire and boil it, and still it 
is what it first was — a vegetable. No 
doubt you have had many heart-aches 
with your extremely sensitive nature, 
but you have much to be thankful for in 
your happy marriage. ’ ' 

“ Yes, indeed, it compensates for all. 
Carl is the only person I have ever loved 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


29 


and naturally I feel this separation 
deeply. ” 

“ I wish I could make your burden 
lighter. It will come out well, I know it 
will. Do try to take a little more pleas- 
ure and don’t worry so, dear. Is the 
work at the ’Phone Exchange too ener- 
vating for you?” 

“ Oh, no; I enjoy it, for it keeps me oc- 
cupied. I could, of course, have done 
much better with music, but purposely 
avoided the publicity of such life.” 

“ I told you, Alice, of my reception 
next week, and I insist upon your coming 
and I also insist upon your singing for us. 
It will do you good to meet people and I 
shall send my carriage for you promptly 
at eight o’clock. ” 

“ Did you ever feel your head rebelling 
at the thought and your heart aching to 
do a thing? It is such a temptation, for 
you know I used to enjoy society and I 
love to sing. ” 


30 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


“ Then do as your heart dictates and 
I’ll assure you of a pleasant evening. 
You must send me the titles of two 
songs at least, for I know your rich voice 
will be much appreciated.” 

“ Well, I’ll promise to come, Grace, if 
you will agree to send me home as early 
as I wish, for I have not been in com- 
pany without Carl for so long a time that 
I shall be lonely in the midst of the 
gaiety. ’ ’ 

“All right, dear, as you wish. I for- 
got to mention that we give this reception 
that our friends may meet Mr. Bascom, 
the inventor, but you will receive our 
cards to-morrow and they explain them- 
selves. ” 

“ That name is very familiar, where 
does he live? ” 

“ Oh, Tom meets him at the Club. He 
has a room somewhere and he is making 
a hermit of himself until the invention is 
completed. It has to do with some ma- 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


31 


chinery that Tom is interested in, so he 
has often brought him home to dine with 
us and he is a highly cultivated and 
polished gentleman. He has been eleven 
months perfecting the invention and from 
the sales of his patents will make an 
immense fortune. ’ ’ 

Alice, somewhat surprised and discon- 
certed by the revelation and the pros- 
pective embarrassment she might feel, 
deemed silence the best course. 

44 I guess I won’t tell her that his room 
is over mine and that we already have 
agreed to disagree, anyway so long as he 
considers me 4 old.’ He won’t recognize 
me as the 4 chronic kicker. ’ ’ ’ 

44 I ask you especially to come early, 
Alice, as we are to begin our musicale 
before Mr. Bascom arrives, as he has 
some objections to music, of which we did 
not learn until our cards for a reception 
and musicale were printed. ’ ’ 

44 I don’t think I shall like him if he ob- 


32 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


jects to music. As Luther says, ‘ Those 
who are not touched by music, I hold to 
be like stocks and stones. ’ If he is a suc- 
cessful inventor it seems to me he ought 
to love music, for invention requires so 
much thought. Music is said to be the 
‘language of the emotions,’ and emo- 
tion is the very breath and life-blood of 
thought. What pozver can any thought 
have without emotion?” 

“ Oh, don’t misunderstand me, for Mr. 
Bascom is passionately fond of music, but 
singing recalls to him some occasion or 
incident in his life which, as he says, 4 is 
bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh,’ 
and he feels so keenly his sorrow that he 
has not the moral courage to hear the 
human voice in song. Of course we have 
asked no questions, but I have thought 
many times that probably he had a sweet- 
heart, who is long since dead. Tom has 
planned to introduce him to Miss Nash, a 
charming and vivacious young lady of 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


33 


twenty and he is quite sure she will in- 
terest him. ” 

" Indeed, I can sympathize with him in 
his loneliness, Grace, for sometimes I 
feel crushed. It is getting late and I’ll 
say good-night. I have had a happy 
evening, dear, and will be on hand next 
week. ” 

“My carriage is ready to take you 
home. Good night! Now don’t forget 
the songs. ’ ’ 


V. 

THE NIGHT BEFORE THE RECEPTION. 

f ^ T^vID you ring, Mrs. Carl? ” 

i— J “ Yes, Betty, I am exceedingly 
nervous to-night and I am going to sing 
for a friend to-morrow night, and al- 
though Mr. Bascom has been very quiet 
of late I wish you would kindly tell him 
that the ‘ elderly lady ’ in the room be- 
low has a severe attack of nostalgia and 
would very much appreciate his being 
particularly quiet to-night, as she is to pass 
through quite an enervating ordeal, for 
one of her age, to-morrow, and needs all 
the rest and strength possible. ’ ’ 

“ I will, indeed, Mrs. Carl.” 

The door had scarcely closed upon the 
faithful Betty till visions of the recep- 
tion and the songs and — and — some one 
else filled Mrs. Carl’s thoughts. 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


35 


“ I hope my dress will be a success, as 
I have spent all that I have saved to be 
able to appear as well as I know Grace 
would wish, for she is very kind to ask me 
to take so conspicuous a part. I chose 
all white because Carl used to admire me 
most in that and I shall wear my diamond 
star in my hair, the only piece that I 
have saved from our wreck. How well 
I recall my handsome lover-husband as 
he presented it to me as a birthday gift. 

4 You are my star, ’ he said as he placed it 
in my hair and 4 these stones are like you 
— pure and bright. I purchased it be- 
cause it reminded me of you. Stars al- 
ways remind me of you, ’ and as I smiled 
he said, 4 Don’t laugh, my love, I am 
Sirius. ’ How clever I thought that was 
and how proud I was of him — and of the 
star! So like the old philosopher, who 
said that 4 he could resist anything but 
temptation,’ I kissed him.” 

Ere her reverie was finished, Betty 
again presented herself. 


36 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


“ Mr. Bascom says that he ‘ will be 
glad to accommodate you, as he feels par- 
ticularly tender toward old ladies, for his 
own dear mother is still living and if he 
can in any way lighten or brighten your 
life he would be most happy to do so. ’ I 
nearly laughed, Mrs. Carl, for I just 
wished he could see your young, beauti- 
ful, sad face.” 

“ Thank you, Betty, but I do not feel 
nearly as young as I look. Betty, do you 
believe in a God? ” 

“ Sure, Mrs. Carl! I could not go 
about my work with a steady hand, with- 
out faith in my heart. ’ ’ 

“ Do you believe in a real, personal 
God? ” 

“ Yes, yes, Mrs. Carl.” 

“ Then will you do something for 
me? ” 

“ Certainly, anything in my power, for 
you are always so kind to me. You treat 
me as if I had a right to live, and some 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


37 


of the other boarders don’t. What can 
I do for you, Mrs. Carl? ” 

“You can pray for me, Betty.” 

“ Why and what for? You now appear 
to me more of an angel than a mortal. ’ ’ 

“ No, no, Betty, don’t say that, for I 
have not prayed for a year ; I seem to be 
afraid to do so, for such a fear comes over 
me. You pray to your God for me and 
ask Him in His great goodness and 
mercy to watch over and especially to 
guide me, to strengthen my heart, for it 
seems to me as if it were on such distant 
terms with my soul. ’ ’ 

“ Indeed I will, Mrs. Carl, and for fear 
I’ll get the message all wrong, as I did 
the first one you sent to Mr. Bascom about 
the pedals, you, too, just utter a prayer 
for yourself and see how easy it is and 
how comfortable you feel afterward. ’ ’ 

“ I’ll try. Good night, Betty! ” 

“ Good night, Mrs. Carl, and God bless 
you! ” 


VI. 


THE NIGHT OF THE RECEPTION. 

^ £ T S my hair all right, Betty? ” 

1 “You look like a queen, Mrs. CarL 
I never saw any one as beautiful. You 
must have been rich once, for you seem to* 
look more natural all dressed up so fine.” 
“ What have you there? ” 

“ Something for you. After you had 
left this morning, Mr. Bascom gave me 
these flowers and said that he had visited 
a conservatory where they raised the 
rarest of them, I have forgotten what he 
called them, and these are the only ones 
of this coloring in the State and he sends 
them to you, hoping that you are feeling 
better and that they may please and cheer 
you, for he said his mother always liked 
flowers about when she felt at all lonely. ’ ’ 
“ Why, Betty, these are orchids and so- 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


39 


beautiful! Indeed I do appreciate his 
thoughtfulness. ’ ’ 

“You will wear them to-night, won’t 
you? Let me fasten them on for you. ’’ 

“ Yes, I’ll wear them, Betty. They 
will relieve the dull whiteness of my 
gown. ’ ’ Mrs. Carl questioned herself : 
“ Suppose Mr. Bascom sees them on me? 
He will probably think I am a relative of 
the * elderly lady, so I’ll wear them just 
the same.” 

“ I hope you will have a happy time, 
Mrs. Carl, and please bring some of the 
happiness home in your heart and face, 
for I often think that if your heart is as 
sad as your face, you must many times feel 
sorry for yourself. ’ ’ 

“ I’ll try. There, the flowers look very 
well. Hand me my music, please, and 
I’ll go, as the carriage has been waiting 
some time. Good night, Betty. I thank 
you for your assistance and gentle en- 
couragement. ’ ’ 


40 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


“ Good night, Mrs. Carl. Don’t thank 
me for anything I can do for yon, for 
don’t yon see how it pleases me? ” 


VII. 


AT THE RECEPTION. 


4 ‘ At first with rapture drank 

The bliss of music, then with swelling heart 

Felt, this was his own being’s greater part.” 


— George Eliot. 


HE scene at the reception is indeed 



1 a gay one. Amongst the profusion 
of flowers are festooned myriads of many- 
colored electric lights. The stage, in the 
white and gold ball-room, is one mass of 
American-beautv roses, and even the 
night is propitious, for the stars are bright 
and are blinking at one another as if in 
unanimous consent to add their charm 
to a scene which Heaven itself is to 
bless. In fact, “ this night was made 
for music. ’ ’ The guests have arrived and 
are seated. The program begins. Alice 
feels her heart standing still amid this 
labyrinth of beauty. 




42 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


44 If Carl were only here, Grace, my 
happiness would be complete ; yet I feel 
that I shall do well, for my voice is clear 
to-night. ’ ’ 

“ I expect you to have a perfect ova- 
tion, Alice, dear, for as Tom says, 4 you 
are a picture. * Now is your turn and I’ll 
slip away to the rear of the hall where I 
can better watch the expression of the 
guests. ’ ’ 

As Alice stepped to the front of the 
stage, a slight applause greeted her, 
which is always especially encouraging to 
one who is a stranger amongst strangers. 
She sang 4 4 The Evening Star, ’ ’ from 
Tannhauser. The recitative was de- 
livered with varied modulation and ex- 
pression ; first, with a quiet, weird voice. 
44 Like death’s foreboding, Twilight all 
surrounding,” then with firm stroke, 
44 The soul — feels terror at its flight 
through dread and night. ’ ’ Slightly rais- 
ing her head, she continued, “And thou 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


43 


appear’st, O fairest star of heaven,” and 
ending with well-marked precision / 4 With 
cheering light from the vale shows the 
way.” There was a perceptible stir in 
the audience, — the stir of approval, which 
all singers love to hear, during the pause 
between verses. Then, as she began the 
Aria, she raised her head still higher and 
fixed her eyes way into space and sang, 
“ Oh, thou sublime! sweet ev’ning star. ” 
Her voice was rich and mellow and had 
that matured quality which develops with 
heart-suffering and greatly beautifies its 
timbre. An ovation did follow and for 
an encore she sang that beautiful ballad, 
put to music by Kate Vanderpoel: 

“ Darling, darling, a bird is calling, 

Over the hill and over the lea. 

The sun has risen, the dew ceased falling, 
Darling, come back to me.” 

44 Darling, darling, the violet is weeping, 

A tear deep down in its heart I see, 

My lonely tryst I still am keeping, 

Darling, come back to me.” 


44 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


“ Darling, darling, the light is gliding 
In and out from tree to tree, 

Trying to find where thou art hiding. 

Darling, come back to me.” 

As she sang the next verse her heart 
seemed breaking, so she nerved herself 
anew, for she saw Grace earnestly talking 
with some one at the hall door. 

“ Darling, darling, my heart is yearning; 

What is the summer bereft of thee? 

Day has no dawn, the night no turning. 
Darling, come back to me.” 

In the midst of it, Mrs. Nelson heard a 
step back of her in the hallway. 

“ Oh, I am so glad that you have ar- 
rived, Mr. Bascom. I hope you will over- 
come your prejudice and listen to this 
beautiful voice. Why, what is the matter? 
Are you ill? ” 

“ Mrs. Nelson, this music is killing me; 
every word of that song tramples upon 
my heart and that voice is crushing out 
my very existence! ” 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


45 


“ How sorry I am. Come with me, 
away from it, and you will soon recover. ’ ' 
“ I can’t, I am rooted to the spot, for 
that voice pictures to me a golden-haired, 
blue-eyed girl, an angel God spared from 
Heaven and brought to this earth, to be 
for a short time my happiness and then — 
my misery. ’ ’ 

“ You are so capable of loving, Mr. 
Bascom, and how terrible to have to part 
forever with the one you loved. You 
must try to cheer up. It is a duty you owe 
yourself, for you have made such a suc- 
cess of life. Look in and see her, for she, 
too, has golden hair. ’ ’ 

“I do not want to see her. I don’t 
want to break the spell.” 

“ Well, it is all over now and I am 
glad for your sake. Come with me to the 
reception room, for the guests will soon 
be down to be presented to you. Your 
color is returning and you will soon feel 
quite right. Mr. Nelson wishes to intro- 


4 6 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


duce you to a friend, a Miss Nash, whom 
you will find charming. ’ ’ 

“ Yes, Mr. Crosby, I shall be glad to 
promenade upon the piazza, as I am 
quite warm and still feel the strain, as 
it is so long since I have sung in com- 
pany. ’ ’ 

“ Isn’t it a beautiful night, Mrs. Carl? 
Your nerves will soon quiet in this de- 
lightful air. The music of the orchestra 
is so enchanting, too, that I am sure you 
will soon feel quite yourself. ’ ’ 

“ Music always seems to affiliate with 
everything that is beautiful. Harmony 
in anything seems so quieting and sooth- 
ing to our natures. Don’t you think so, 
Mr. Crosby? ” 

“ To be frank, I’ll tell you what I think, 
Mrs. Carl. I think you are a beautiful 
woman with a beautiful voice and have 
beautiful thoughts. ’ ’ 

“ Now, Mr. Crosby, those remarks are 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


47 


inharmonious and are, in fact, incongru- 
ous just now. By the way, have you met 
Mr. Bascom yet?” 

“ Yes, many times at the Club, and he 
is certainly a brilliant man. ’ ’ 

“ I have not met him, and so soon as I 
am sufficiently rested would like to go in 
and be presented. ’ ’ 

4 4 I shall be delighted to take you. 
There he is, over in the summer-house, 
with Miss Nash. I guess the Nelsons are 
trying to make a match. They certainly 
would make a handsome pair. ’ ’ 

4 4 I cannot see them distinctly, but they 
are now coming this way. ’ ’ 

44 They are about to pass us; shall I in- 
troduce you, Mrs. Carl? ” 

44 No! no! Mr. Crosby; take me to the 
summer-house, quick! quick! ” 

44 What is the trouble, Mrs. Carl, are 
you ill? That’s right, send for water, she 
has fainted. ” 

44 Mr. Crosby, allow me to assist the 


4 8 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


lady, she is a very old acquaintance and 
I have just recognized her.” 

“ Certainly, Mr. Bascom, although I 
prefer to remain by her myself. ’ ’ 

“ I am both obliged and proud to state, 
Mr. Crosby, that I am her husband, and 
our recognition is the cause of her 
swooning. ’ ’ 

“ Then, of course, I am obliged to 
stand back. ’ ’ 

“ Alice, Alice, my darling, open your 
eyes. I am here. Your devoted lover 
and husband. ’ ’ 

4 4 Carl, am I dreaming? Don’t go 
away ! ’ ’ 

“ No, dearest, I am by you. How 
happy I am to have found you! How 
has it all happened ? ” 

“ My whole being is paralyzed with 
sudden happiness and I can’t explain 
anything. ’ ’ 

“ I love you, love you, dear. Where 
have you kept 'urself ? Where did you 


A MODERN EXPERIENCE. 


49 


get these flowers you are wearing? ” 

“ A friend of mine gave them to me.” 

44 Was she old and rather eccentric, 
dear?” 

44 No, she is young, just my age, and a 
sensitive, love-sick woman, Carl, — not 
4 insane ’ nor a 4 chronic kicker. ’ ” 

“ Here is Mrs. Nelson, to enquire for 
you. ’ ’ 

“ What has happened, Alice? ” 

44 I have made a happy discovery. Mr. 
Bascom, the inventor, is also the possessor 
of my heart’s love, — my Carl, my hus- 
band.” 

44 How delighted I am for you both! ” 


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